Pearly Whites

I have become a lot more self conscious of my teeth since I arrived in The States. I mean, at home I have a pretty good line-up - straight, white and all round good munchers. However, over here EVERYONE has a gleaming array of pearly whites. I mean stellar smiles, right out of the toothpaste adverts and I don't think they only have brushing twice a day to thank for it. It appears from a young age, American youths are subjected to gratuitous cosmetic surgery which has somewhat wiped out any form of dental individuality. I have heard stories of children bullied in school if they had 'wonky' teeth and commercials promote healthy looking teeth to help you get that 'dream job’. The high expectations Americans have surrounding teeth is obviously subject to a lack of diversity argument in that us British have an endearing unique quality to our chompers but, if I was being truly honest, I am being sucked in to wanting a brand new set. I know, I know, I should stick to my heritage and all that, but they look so good and what with my wisdom teeth pushing mine around a bit at the moment, it’s an investment I am certainly willing to consider. This new obsession of mine was escalated by someone referring to my teeth as….British…or ‘dientes ingles’ as the Mexicans put it. They might as well have just said crooked which is what they really meant but I suppose I can award them credit for ‘trying’ a pleasantry. I guess ‘British’ teeth is what you get for having free NHS healthcare so no wonder everyone over here is anti-Obama’s Health Bill. They love their dazzling grills too much.

…I pause here because I can feel myself being pulled further into the image obsessed Western culture but considering I am probably already there in many other ways (hair, make-up) I think I’ll let them reel me in… at least I am not tattooing on my eyeliner!

Research into teeth led me to ‘Invisalign’ a company one of my dearest friends has to thank for her now beautiful gleamers. Now, it is expensive with people being quoted between $3,500 to $5,000 for the whole treatment but it lasts for a lifetime, so the investment seems worth it. I always refer to my Mum when I try to reason with things like this and she once said, about a haircut, ‘Well you’d pay £100+ for an outfit and you wear your hair everyday’. What a fantastic point to make. I am pretty sure I will spend, or probably have already spent more than $5000 on dying my hair, so why not spend it on my teeth too. Ah, I love it when I find a reasonable excuse to justify my expensive fads. Oh well, looks like I’ll be holding off on getting a mortgage for a few more years again. Always thought that was too much responsibility anyway. Ha.